(cont.) who I do this "comedy" for. It's not for me, but are you conceited enough to think that it's for you? Well, if you answered "yes" to that then you are right. It is for you. All for you. I get up every day and wonder how I can make you laugh. So I guess my "experience" is the daily grind of putting smiles on your faces and laughs in your belly.

· INFLUENCES:   I think the number one influence has been Monty Python. Their delivery of comedy is the main thing I have stolen and made my own. But it's time to give credit where credit is due. I also think Mel Brooks has shaped my style. Also the shows Seinfeld, Sealab 2021, Family guy, and The Office (BBC).

· FAVORITE "Maury" EPISODE:  If I had a favorite Maury episode that would mean I: A) Watch Maury, B) Care about the people that are on that show, and C) Have way too much time on my hands. I can honestly say I have no idea what Maury looks like. Is it a guy or a girl? I have NO idea. I have been too busy making you laugh to care.

· WHO'S YOUR SUPER-SECRET CRUSH?  Angela Lansbury

· FINAL THOUGHTS:  When I stand on a mountain and say do it, it gets done. And if it doesn't get done then I'll move on. And that's the last thing in the world you want me to do.

· FULL NAME:  Theodore Benton Hemeyer

· DOB:  March 18, 1983

· EXPLAIN YOURSELF! I am pretty amazing. I must say, if you know me, you are better off. If you think you know me then you are just sad. But if you watch me, that's creepy, so stop. If you need more explanation than that then God help you.

· COMEDY EXPERIENCE: Well, comedy isn't something that you are born with or that you can learn. It's all about what you can steal and make your own. In my case I have been stealing from people all my life. Not things, but comedy. When I eventually put it all together, I guess I get a few chuckles every once in a while. But the question still remains

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